Bonding Gone Wrong
by equach
Summary: Garon, the king of Nohr decides that he needs to bond more with his children to become stronger. Let's just say that it didn't turn out so well and it just got weird. Fire Emblem is owned by Nintendo.
1. Chapter 1

_It was a normal day in Nohr and by normal, I mean the weather is just terrible. There is not a speck of sunlight and you can't tell if its the day or night. The clouds cover all over the kingdom and its just dark like the residence of the kingdom._

 _King Garon is sitting in his throne waiting for his children to come. He expects them to be the finest in battle and for his own needs. As the five children of Nohr entered, they remained silent as the king begin to speak._

Garon: As you may know, you are my children. I expected you to be the best and I am aware that you all have been training hard. However, there is one thing missing that I need to do for you all in order for you children to get stronger. That is to bond with you.

Xander, the eldest son: Excuse me father, but what did you say?

Garon: I need to spend time with you all. I have neglected you for a while and I read in the manual that I need to increase my support class to make you all not scrubs.

Xander: As you wish.

Garon: FIrst things first, the manual did say that I must touch you all and then we form some sort of bond. Starting with Camilla, my daughter with the biggest boobs.

 _The King approached to Elise who only replied with a cute "Oni-Chan". The king was surprised that he was not touching Camilla, but rather his youngest daughter Elise. He backed away as he never expected this to happen._

Garon: Camilla, you gotten small.

Leo, the youngest brother: That would be Elise, father.

Garon: Really? Then who's Camilla?

Camilla, the eldest sister: That would be me.

Garon: I thought you were here. How did you teleported from here to there?

Camilla: I didn't teleported. I was always here when I came.

Garon: You kids are growing up so fast.

Corrin, the second eldest brother: Okay, hold on. Is there something wrong with you father?

Garon: No, but you are the chosen one Kamui! You are destined to save the world.

Corrin: It's Corrin.

Garon: No I could have sworn that's its Kamui.

Elise: Oni-chan.

Garon: Where is that squeaky noise coming from? Must be from Hoshido.

Xander: Its from your youngest daughter, Elise. Father.

Garon: Really. Why does she keep saying that?

Leo: You mentioned that she hit her head as an infant.

Garon: I did. No wonder Zelda is terrible at running her kingdom.

Xander: For the last time father, you are not Ganondorf.

Garon: I have the Tri-force of Power.

Xander: No.

Garon: Draw you sword Link because its dangerous to go alone.

Camilla: That's not what Ganondorf says.

Garon: Oh hey Camilla, didn't see you there. Your coconuts are big as always.

Camilla: Can we not talk about my... chest, father? Every time we talk to each other is always about that.

Garon: Okay, so just to be clear, I'm definitely not going to bring up your double whammies. Your melons are off the table. Hooters are a no-go area. Ixnay on the eavage-clay!

Corrin: Anyways. How about we leave and...

Garon: You are not going anywhere until I touch your face.

Corrin as Garon touch his face: Okay.

Garon: Your face is not as good as your clone.

Corrin: My what now?!

Garon stops touching Corrin and says: Children, you all seemed to be over 50 so I will tell you a secret. I made clones of you all in case one of you dies in battle.

Leo: Such action is an act against nature.

Garon: Yeah, I never cared for nature anyways.

 _Suddenly a female Corrin comes out of the wall, braying and kicking like a donkey. Everyone was shocked to see what abomination that Garon made. The king doesn't seemed bother by this at all but rather he laughed it off._

Garon: Don't worry kids, its 69% organic.

Corrin: What's the other percent?

Garon: A little of sugar, spice, and everything nice. Also chemical X from some guy named Henry. That guy has a thing for carnage.

Leo: The horror.

Garon: Grow some balls, Leon.

Leo: Its Leo, father.

Garon: Leo, Leon, Tomato, Tomaato. Same thing.

Xander: Where do you keep these clones?

 _Garon pushes a button from a remote in his pocket. Suddenly a door opened and it revealed a giant arena like cage that is filled with an army of Elise. The Elises' all shouted out "Oni-chan" over and over like a Pokemon. There were tubes at the side with a clone of Leo and Camilla. The siblings looked at horror at what they saw._

Xander: You made clones of us and an army of Elise.

Garon: Actually those girls are failed clones of you. You can never duplicate the moe of Elise.

Elise: Oni-chan.

Xander: You just did with my...why are you so hypo...argh!

Leo: Don't bother Xander.

Garon: Well time for my nap. This is the end of this chapter.

 **Attain Support Level C!**

 **Notes: By the time I made this story, Fire Emblem Fates did not come out yet. This is just a parody.**


	2. Chapter 2

Xander: Although father has some problems, we must be there for him at all costs.

Corrin: Right.

Leo: I can tell that your not feeling it today.

Corrin: I mean, ever since I discovered who he really is, I just can't compute with the truth.

Xander: Same goes with all of us. Father was never always like this. He has a different approach.

...

 _Flashback:_

 _Little Xander: Eat my shorts._

 _Garon: Why you little!_

 _Garon proceeds to choke little Xander to death, but the boy got better._

...

Xander: I missed those times. It was when Leo always has that pacifier and Camilla was actually smart.

Camilla: Excuse me.

Xander: Sorry.

Corrin: Doesn't seemed so happy to me.

Leo: You were not ever there.

Corrin: You were busy having that pacifier if I recall.

Leo: Shut up!

Elise: Oni-chan.

 _The siblings enter the door and could not believe what they saw. Their father in bunny pajamas and he is holding a book. The siblings approached him while being dumbfounded._

Garon: Will you read me a bed time story? Iago is broken.

Xander grabbed the book and read: The Pikachu went up the hill and...

Garon: You're reading it wrong!

Xander: My apologies.

Camilla's turn: The Pikachu went up the hill and meet up with his friends. They... could you please stop looking at my breast, father?

Garon: What was that? I was busy looking at your boobs.

Leo's turn: The Pikachu went up the hill and meet up with...

Garon: Could you say it in your dark emo voice?

Leo: I don't have a dark emo voice.

Garon: You're doing it right now!

Leo: Fine. The Pikachu went up the hill and meet up with his friends. They went to play and dance around the tree. But the tree turns out to be a...

Garon: Boring! I'm sick of your voice already. Give it to Corrin because he's the chosen one.

Corrin's turn: Alright. The Pikachu went up the hill and meet up with his...

Garon: OMG, you will someday save the world!

Corrin: Anyways, meet up with his friends. They went to play and dance around the...

Garon: You will unite Hoshido and Nohr somehow!

Corrin angrily: Dance around the tree. But the tree turns out to be a Sudowoodo. The Sudowoodo is pissed off because of how annoying Pikachu and his friends are. He then...

Garon: You will meet a creepy fish girl and you are actually born from Hoshido and I took you as a baby!

Corrin: Wait. What?!

Garon: I remember it like it was yesterday.

...

 _Flashback:_

 _Garon: Leo, what are you doing? Its past your bed time._

 _Garon picks up the baby Corrin while little Ryouma cried out for his kidnapped younger brother._

...

Garon: What was I smoking that day?

Corrin: I'm so done. Elise, can you take over?

Elise: Oni-chan.

Corrin: Thanks Elise.

Elise's turn: Oni-chan oni-chan oni-chan oni-chan oni-chan oni-chan oni-chan oni-chan oni-chan oni-chan oni-chan oni-chan oni-chan oni-chan oni-chan oni-chan oni-chan oni-chan oni-chan oni-chan oni-chan oni-chan oni-chan oni-chan oni-chan _._

Garon: Damn girl. that is some dark s***. I can't believe that story is so messed up.

Corrin: The story was never dark.

Garon: How about the murder scenes, the adultury, the carnage, the symbolism...

Corrin: I am going to stop you there and tell you that none of that happens. All Elise says was Oni-chan and nothing else.

Leo: Corrin, just stop.

Corrin: The fact that you kidnapped me as a child. What do I say about that? Dick move, dad!

Xander: Corrin, that's enough!

Corrin: I just can't believe you!

Camilla: My breast commands you to stop!

Corrin: I'm calm now.

Garon: You do make a good point because you are the chosen one!

Camilla: This is why we told you to stop.

Corrin: I didn't know.

Xander: Well, good night father.

Elise: Oni-chan.

Leo: Don't let the bed bugs bite.

Garon: BED BUGS! YOU WILL NEVER GET ME ALIVE!

 _The king grabbed his axe and looked for the bugs. His children left his room, questioning about their life and family. What would be in store with this family?_

 **Attain Support Level B!**


	3. Chapter 3

_So one day, Garon summons his children to his throne to bond with them again._

Garon: Hey kids, I got you a present. Its a prison b****.

Sakura in chains: Oni-sama.

Corrin: My birth sister Sakura.

Garon: She has a name?

Corrin: God, I'm regretting siding with Nohr.

Garon: Now that we are all here. Let's play eight player smash.

Corrin: Who's the eight player? There is only seven of us.

Camilla: I think you should look behind you.

Corrin looks behind: Oh god!

 _A female Corrin appears behind Corrin and stands on four legs. She keep making strange animal noises. For the record, she is meant to be a clone and we wil call her Derp Corrin._

Derp Corrin appears: Bark bark!

Garon: Oh Derp Corrin, I've been expecting you.

Corrin: What?

Leo: And this is why you just had tolerate father's antics?

Xander: Now Leo, before we "smash", could you care to explain to me on what it is?

Leo: Let me explain.

 _As Leo explain to his older brother about Super Smash Brothers, Garon has to deal with the loading screen._

Garon: F***ing loading screen.

Corrin: Maybe this is all ahead of our time.

Garon: Nonsense. This is a new trend sweeping all of Nohr.

Corrin: You forgot that we have problems with our agriculture and financial problems. I doubt having this gaming system be a major issue of this kingdom.

Garon: We do? I thought the only problem in this kingdom is legalizing weed. Some people, however, complained to me about how its bad for you when its national pride.

Corrin: That's been over for a while.

Garon: Nonsense. Those people should praise weed for the glory it brings to this country!

Elise: Oni-chan.

Garon: Oh hey, the game is starting.

Xander: So that is how smash works?

Leo: From all the research that I can collect.

Camilla giving the brothers controls: You would need these.

Corrin: Why am I in this game?

Garon: I sort of voted for you in the ballot because you are the chosen one.

Corrin: Whatever, let's just smash I guess.

 _So Garon plays as Captain Falcon, Corrin as himself, Xander as Link, Leo as Robin, Camilla as Peach, Elise as Ganondorf, Sakura as Bowser, and Fem Corrin as Yoshi. Derp Corrin won since the others have no idea on how to play smash. Garon got last place._

Garon: What the f***?!

Corrin: All she did was f*** the controls. How is it possible?

Fem Corrin: Yee Haw! [Donkey Sound]

Garon: As expected, you won my son. I must congratulate you on that.

Corrin: But I didn't... oh never mind.

Sakura: Oni-sama.

Garon: The prison b**** can talk. They get smarter everyday and someday they will escape. I must do something about it!

...

Meanwhile in kingdom of Hoshido:

Ryoma, eldest brother: We must get our sister back!

Hinoka, eldest sister: But how?!

Takumi, other brother: Maybe if we dress up as italian plumbers and go through the pipes. We would be able to get into the castle and save our sister.

Hinoka: That is a really stupid idea, Takumi.

Ryoma: I say that its a good idea! Let's get our plumber costume and leave immediately.

Hinoka: Something tells me that this plan is very unrealistic.

Ryoma: Your unrealistic.

Hinoka: Well you look like a lobster.

Takumi: I thought he was a Samurai.

Hinoka face palm: I sometimes think my brothers are morons.

...

Back at Nohr:

Elise: Oni-chan.

Sakura: Oni-sama.

Garon: Looks like Elise is spanking that a**.

Corrin: They are just talking, if you can call it that.

Garon: I feel turned on right now.

Corrin: Big brother, aren't you suppose to shield Elise from the adult stuff that father says.

Xander: Sadly there is nothing I can do. Elise heard too much of it from not only from father, but from everyone else in Nohr.

Leo: Seriously Corrin, why do you keep questioning these things when it will only make things worst.

Corrin: I don't know how the world works anymore!

Garon: By the way, have you met a creepy fish girl by any chance yet?

Corrin: The closest think I can think of is Azura.

Garon: I know her, she's my other daughter that was stolen.

Corrin: I regret answering.

Camilla: Another sister? I'm still the better one.

Leo: The only credibility you have are your melons.

Camilla: Excuse me, I am more than just that. I am very caring for my siblings and...

Garon: Boobies!

Camilla: I give up.

 _Suddenly a giant green pipe erupt from the ground and three figures jumped out of it. Appear three of the four children of Hoshido in Mario based costumes. Ryoma is Mario, Takumi is Luigi, and Hinoka is Toad for some reason._

Ryoma: It's a me. Ryoma!

Hinoka: Give us our sister back you mother f***er!

Garon: What sister?

Sakura: Oni-sama.

Ryoma: Don't play dumb with us!

Garon: Your pet lobster can talk?! I want one too.

Ryoma looked his head gear and back to Garon: I am not a lobster.

Hinoka: I sadly have to agree with the king.

Takumi: I don't get the joke.

Leo: We have Hoshidan intruders. The only sentence for them... is death!

Garon: Why must you be so dramatic? You don't have to.

Leo: Yes, father. Shall we eliminate the intruders?

Garon: Kill them all except for the lobster. I want his as my pet.

Ryoma: For the last time, I am not a lobster.

 _Everyone drew their weapons and engaged in battle. It was very turn based as Camilla takes the first attack at Hinoka damaging her a bit. Leo aimed at Hinoka, but she dodged. Takumi shot at Xander while Ryoma ran to Sakura._

 _Corrin just helped his siblings fight Takumi and Hinoka with some sword fighting. However, Corrin seems to hesitate in killing off his birth siblings. Elise is there to help out with her stave and such._

 _Garon is in Ryoma's way, but swords have an advantage against axes. Garon lied down like a wuss and Ryoma freed his sister from her chains and grabbed her. The Hoshidan intruders left through the pipes that they went into. The pipe then enters the ground, giving victory for their escape._

Garon: Today is a victorious day of Nohr!

Xander: Father, I'm sorry that I failed.

Garon: Marx my son, you make me so proud.

Xander: Its Xander, father.

Leo: I'm just not going to replied to that.

Camilla: That b**** will pay!

Garon: Wait where's the prison b****?

Corrin: We lost her in our defeat against the Hoshidan.

Garon: Glory always comes with a price.

Elise: Oni-chan.

...

 _The Hoshidan children are reunited once more._

Takumi: I'm glad my plan worked.

Sakura: Oni-sama.

Hinoka: I'm glad to see you too. You're the cutest of all of Hoshido and that nasty kingdom Nohr.

Ryoma: I personally think that other Nohr girl is cuter.

Hinoka: Shut up Ryoma. Who's side are you on?

Sakura: Oni-sama.

...

Garon: Wait. What the f***? Why didn't I get Support Level A? F***ing hacks!


	4. Chapter 4

**The following chapter is somewhat of a musical with songs that are a parody and remix of actual songs. I own none of them.**

 _The royal family of Nohr were called out for dinner at this time. Due to the poor agriculture, they had to resort to more degrading delicacies. At least their father decided to join them after all these years, but that won't make the food any better._

Jakob: Your majesties, tonight's dinner will include salad from the fallen leaves of the kingdom, some, excuse my french, Lord Corrin's s***, some rotten tomatos, a serving of Leo's piss to wash it all down and and mud pies made from whatever we can savage in the yard.

Camilla: I love Corrin's s***.

Corrin: I still wonder how we manage to eat this for years.

Elise: Oni-chan.

Garon: Why does my drink taste like piss?

Leo: Because it is father.

Garon: I like it.

Jakob: I forgot to mention that someone offer us this... pizza. I think that is what is called. Some messenger deliver it to us to eat and seems to have a strong connection with you all.

 _They then see a blue haired woman dress in a pizza hut's uniform with the cap and all. Corrin was shocked to see who she was._

Corrin: Azura!

Azura: Though we should only meet in battle and important matters, I am here to offer entertainment and extra food.

Garon: Does this pizza have boogers and cum?

Azura: Yes.

Garon: I'm starting to like you. I wish you were my daughter.

Azura: Anywho. As you dine in for your meal, shall I begin entertainment?

Garon: Sure whatever.

 _Azura got on the table and begin sing and dance. Corrin expects to hear the song she sang at the river and really likes it. However today is a different song._

Azura: Hoo! Hah!

Hoo, hah!

Donkey Kong!

Heeeeyyyyyy, oh! Look out down below!

Here he comes, banana slamma'!

Donkey Kong!

Heeeeyyyyyy, oh! Donkey Kong, let's go, let's go!

Here he comes, banana slamma'!

Hooooo, HAH!

Garon: That was dank.

Elise: Oni-chan.

Camilla: I love the tune.

Xander: I'm impressed.

Leo: It is okay.

Corrin nervously: I like it.

Azura: I must also bring dire news that people from the future shall appear. I have no idea of what their intentions are, but be ready.

Leo: At the worst possible time and here I thought I was able to enjoy my rotten tomatoes peacefully.

 _Suddenly a portal open and appear four figures. They slowly walked out of it and they look as if they are from Nohr. One of them is a girl with a bun hair. Another is a guy with blue hair and a spear. Another is someone in pink clothes and a barret. Another is a guy that looks like Xander._

The girl: We are your children from the future.

Garon: I'm a grandpa now! God I'm growing old and where's Derp Corrin?

...

Meanwhile in Hoshido:

Ryoma: Good news everyone. Our ninjas manage to bring Corrin back during their scouting mission.

 _The siblings saw Derp Corrin kicking her legs like a donkey. Destroying anything in her way._

Hinoka: Even though I haven't seen him in years, I know that he's a guy and he is a not brain dead woman.

Takumi: What has Nohr done to you brother?! They changed your gender and made you stupid.

Ryoma: Even in this state, he... I mean she is one of us.

Hinoka: I did recall that this is a clone and the real one is with with the Nohrian trash.

Ryoma: Are you doubting our ninjas? They are the finest in the world. I'm sure they can tell who our sister is.

Sakura: Oni-sama.

Ryoma: Even Sakura understands this more than you.

Hinoka: I just have a bad feeling about this.

Ryoma: We should educate our lost sibling to be one of us again. After all, they may have brainwashed her during her time in Nohr.

Takumi: Let's do it in a song since it always work!

Hinoka: Oh god no.

Ryoma: Let's get down to business

To defeat the Nohrs

Did they send me a monster when I asked for...uh... oars I guess? I wanted one for Christmas.

Takumi: Ryoma!

Ryoma: Sorry.

You're the saddest girl I ever met

But you can bet before we're through

Corrin, I'll make a human out of you

 _During this moment, they are teaching Derp Corrin how to read, manners and embracing her Hoshidan culture. They practice with her swordsmanship and tactician skills in the dojo. They play instruments of songs about peace and harmony. They went step by step on how to walk on two legs._

Takumi: She's never gonna catch her breath

Say goodbye to those who knew her

Boy, was she a fool in school for cutting gym

Hinoka: This guy's got 'em scared to death

Hope he'll see what I see

How this all is so stupid beyond redemption!

All of them: (Be human)

You must be swift as a raging river

(Be human)

With all the force of a great puddle

(Be human)

With all the strength of a happy dolphin

Mysterious as the dark side of the dfuchbvdikghseg.

Derp Corrin: Yes.

Takumi: We did it! Corrin acts human again.

Hinoka: I can't believe it worked.

Derp Corrin: I like turtles.

Ryoma: Together we ride to defeat Nohr!

Derp Corrin: Yes.

...

 _The family of Nohr is questioning the children of the future._

Corrin: You're my daughter?

Kanna: Kanna, that's me!

Leo: That girl with the pink clothes is my daughter.

Foleo: I'm actually your son, Foleo.

Leo: I can tell a girl from a guy.

Xander: That guy who look sort of like me is my son.

Siegbert: Yes, father.

Azura: Hey Shigure, long time no see.

Shigure: I'm back from the future.

Corrin: This isn't the first time you met your own future son.

Azura: Pretty much.

Garon: If I were to be step down the throne, Elise will be the new ruler and that blue hair chick is the new commander.

Elise: Oni-chan.

Leo: Father, they simply come from the future. That does not mean you aged.

Garon: That's my will and I'm sticking with it.

Kanna: To explain what's going on, we have to do it in a song.

Garon: Yay! I love songs!

...

 _Foleo got out his electirc guitar and Siegbert got out his keyboard. The Nohr family were overwhelmed with the instruments of the future and dubstep._

Kanna: When worlds collide...

You can run...

Shigure: But you can't hide!

Kanna: When worlds collide

You'll laugh so hard you'll swear you died

When worlds collide

Hold my hand and I'll be your guide

When worlds collide

Buckle... buckle...

Buckle up for the sweetest ride

And prepare to have your mind blown wide

When worlds collide

Shigure: When worlds collide it's a curious thing

Bet you've never heard your future children sing

In our advance music are some working parts

How is that different from my beating heart?

Kanna: We're from the future...

Shigure: ...And this is the past

Kanna: But that don't mean this friendship wasn't built to last

Shigure: We were born in tech and you were born in this

So let me hear you holler for this inter-era piss!

Kanna: You... you... you... you can run...

Shigure: But you can't hide!

Kanna: When... when worlds collide

...

Garon: Dang girl, that was sick.

Corrin: What was the point of that?

Kanna: To clarify how people of the future will appear out of nowhere and joining your army.

Leo: There are more of you!

Kanna: Each and everyone of them will at least be older than Elise.

Elise: Oni-chan.

Corrin: This just keeps getting weirder each day.

...

Songs used are the Donkey Kong Country cartoon theme, parody of I'll make a man out of you from Mulan, and When Worlds Collide from Spongebob.


	5. Chapter 5

Garon: We have finally defeated Hoshido!

Xander: Father, the war is still on-going.

Garon: Victory!

Leo: Father.

Garon: All of them Hoshido b****es are mine!

Camilla: DAD!

Garon: Yes.

Camilla: Calm down! My boops says so.

Garon: Fine.

Corrin: Wow, I can't believe that worked.

Camilla: Me too.

Garon: Because of this glorious day, I spend all of our resources on a trip to the beach.

Xander: You what?!

Leo: At our current state, we are not able to do so.

Garon: We defeated Hoshido and that means we got more mon-ay!

Xander: I will figure this out. Just entertain father for now.

 _Xander left to deal with the financial losses from Garon's actions._

Garon: I knew it, he p****ed out because he can't swim.

Corrin: I can agree with only half of what you said.

 _..._

 _Meanwhile, the kingdom of Hoshido is celebrating their recent victory at the beach. All the soldiers partied and the children of Hoshido are relaxing. Takumi is a DJ for some reason using some makeshift insturment that made medieval music sound cool I guess._

Hinoka: We didn't even won the war, but whatever.

Ryouma: A toast to our sister, Corrin!

Sakura: Oni-sama.

Ryouma: What she says.

Everyone: Ha-zah!

Derp Corrin: Yes.

 _Suddenly the family of Nohr appear and were surprised to see their enemy. Also Azura is there with them, just in the background for now until I can think of a speaking line for her._

Xander: You!

Ryouma: If this is your plan on catching us off guard. You are mistaken.

 _Everyone of Hoshido got out a gun and aimed at the family of Nohr. Ryouma is the only one with his sword._

Ryouma: It was Takumi's idea. He bought it from some merchant named Anna.

Garon: Oh its a college beach party. I'll go get myself some b****es and maybe they will be your new mother.

Xander: Father, its the Hoshidans!

Garon: My taste for women has no limits.

Ryouma: Enough! State your purpose!

Xander: My father wants sometime in the beach for the family. How about a truce for the day?

Ryouma: Fine, but only if you admit that Sakura is cuter than Elise.

Leo: Blasphemy. That is a lie and you know it.

Ryouma: Your old sibling agrees, right Corrin.

Derp Corrin: Yes.

Garon: So that's where Derp Corrin run off to. Come here Derp Corrin.

Derp Corrin: Meep.

Garon petting Derp Corrin: Good girl.

Ryouma: Say it or there will be blood shed.

Camilla: Don't do it Xander, there must be another way.

Leo: Don't disgrace yourself in such a manner.

Elise: Oni-chan.

Xander: I don't know.

Corrin steps up: Sakura is cuter than Elise!

Leo and Camilla: [Gasp]

Xander: Corrin. You are willing to do this for me.

Corrin: We aren't related, but we are family.

Ryouma: Fine, I accept your truce. Just don't mess with us.

...

 _Leo sat by a tree, gaining sunburns as his family having fun. He finally saw Xander having fun for once after for so long since the war. His father, Garon, on the other hand had other plans._

Leo: This is such a waste of my time.

Garon: Kids, meet your new mother!

Sakura: Oni-sama.

Hinoka: Hands off my sister you perv!

Garon: We are meant for each other.

Sakura: Oni-sama.

Hinoka: You only met him for a few minutes and he kidnapped you that time before.

Ryouma started crying: This is true love.

Takumi is in tears: Our little Sakura is growing up.

Hinoka: Don't you all realize the situation this is?

Corrin: This means that Hoshido and Nohr can be allies.

Takumi: The clone makes a good point.

Ryouma: Let's end this war since our beloved Sakura is marrying King Garon of Nohr.

Xander: I shall give you two my blessing.

Ryouma holding Xander's hands: From this day forward, Nohr and Hoshido are allies.

Garon: Yay! Crank up the music!

Corrin: That was easy.

Camilla: After all these years, we all win in the end.

...

 _After the party, everyone was knocked out and Hinoka and Corrin are the only ones sober and awake. Corrin was shocked to see Derp Corrin on the floor, naked and is face to face with his birth sister._

Hinoka: So your our real brother.

Corrin: Yeah and I seriously can't believe that you kidnapped my derpy counterpart.

Hinoka: Brothers can be annoying at times.

Corrin: I know. Now that we are allies, maybe I should use this opprotunity to get to know my birth family more.

Hinoka: I suppose so. Then again, my brothers will still think that you are the clone.

Corrin: I guess.

 _The two looked at each other and saw Azura still awake and drunk._

Azura landed on Corrin: Don't you dare touch my Robin? He's my waifu!

Corrin: Azura, are you okay?

Hinoka: Good god lady. She's still awake.

Azura: Robin, say "Time to Tip the Scales".

Corrin: Time to tip the scales.

Azura: We must kill Captain Falcon for my father.

Corrin: You need to calm down Azura.

Azura: Lucina!

Corrin: Okay.

 _Corrin and Hinoka places Azura by a tree and let's her sleep there. From there, he saw the most disturbing sight in his entire life. Garon is f***ing Sakura and from the looks of it, they like it._

Corrin: Good ness gracious me.

 **Attain Support Level A!**

Garon: FINALLY I GOT SUPPORT LEVEL A!


	6. Chapter 6

_Sakura and Garon are officially married and it was disturbing all over. Hinoka is still against this, but had to ignore this because of her brothers. Derp Corrin stays in Hoshido because she had a strong bond with them. The kingdom of Nohr and Hoshido are allies til the end and they trade goods or what not. However, this does not mean the antics are over._

Garon: I love you honey. Seriously.

Sakura: Oni-sama.

Garon: Out of all my wives, I hope to never lose you.

Sakura: Oni-sama.

Corrin: Is she still my sister or in law? This is too confusing.

Xander: As long as he is happy again, I suppose that its best to accept our new mother.

Garon: Now I got myself a new wife, beautiful children, and don't have to deal with other crap, I demand to a T.V. Tropes page on this story!

Corrin: Huh.

Azura: Its a website on the internet that list a bunch of tropes of any form of media.

Corrin: I have no idea what you are saying.

Garon: Children, this is a very important mission. Do it for the glory of Nohr.

Leo: Where to start?

Camilla: I'm just as clueless as you.

Elise: Oni-chan.

Azura: I got a laptop. I might be able to create a page for all of this.

 _After a while, Azura got it done._

Azura: It is finished!

Garon: Excellent. I have everything I need for my plans. Now for world domination!

Corrin: What?! Why?

Garon: You see, once I have everything I need, I can finally unleash my true power. I'm not the real Garon because the real Garon died a long time ago!

Xander: No way!

Leo: Impossible.

Garon: I'm simply possessing this corpse, hiding my true form. My goal is to destroy both Hoshido and Nohr! With that said, I will rule this world with my new queen.

Sakura: Oni-sama.

 _Garon then changed into a whole new monstrous form. His skin and shape melted in a disgusting sight. After his transformation is complete, everyone was shock who it was._

Garon: It is I... the mighty... CRANKY KONG!

 _Everyone was dumbfounded with Garon's or Cranky Kong's appearance. Its just an old ape in a rocking chair, a cane, a beard, wearing sunglasses, and is smoking three blunts at the same time._

Cranky Kong: Git Gud.

Corrin: We must not have fear.

 _Everyone drew their weapon and then suddenly, Ryouma and his siblings came through the door. They had some Sake with them, but they were shocked at the sight of Cranky Kong._

Xander: Ryouma, I suggest you to either leave or help us fight. This...thing plans on destroying both of our kingdoms.

 _The family of Hoshido drew their weapons, including Sakura. On Xander's signal they charged at Cranky Kong. The warriors were no match against the mighty MLG Lord. Cranky created Supernovas and the whole galaxy to eliminate his foes. Their strong will kept them alive._

Cranky Kong: Fools, the only one that has ever defeated me are Youtubers such as the Luigikid.

Leo: Its no use.

Corrin: We must not show any fear.

Elise: Oni-chan.

Corrin: I know Elise.

Sakura: Oni-sama.

Corrin: I understand moth... I mean Sakura... I mean. Whatever.

Sakura: Oni-sama.

 _Suddenly Corrin's sword, Yato, glowed and transformed into a much stronger form. It has unleashed its MLG form._

A voice: Use this power to teach this scrub to git gud.

 _Corrin ran forward and slashed the impostor of a father to death. Cranky Kong was surprised that a mere half dragon person could do this to him. He looked at his scar on his chest, but not before Corrin went for another attack._

 _Corrin finally got good as the voice said and transformed into a powerful dragon. He slammed the ape down and clawed Cranky until he finally defeated Cranky Kong. The ape then slowly disappears, but said his final words before doing so._

Cranky Kong before disappearing: I knew you were the chosen one.

Corrin: What the heck just happen?

Xander: Our father is truly gone.

Leo: I never expected a turn of events such as this.

Hinoka: You mean to tell me that this chaos was caused by a monkey.

Takumi: Its actually an ape.

Hinoka: Doesn't matter! In fact, our little sister is married to it! And now she's a widow!

Sakura: Oni-sama.

Corrin: Does this mean Sakura just my sister again?

Ryouma: Pretty much.

Camilla: The flat chested chick is right. This whole mess was caused by an ape. Who shall rule Nohr as of now?

Leo: Corrin.

Xander: Corrin.

Elise: Oni-chan.

Sakura: Oni-sama.

Ryouma: Corrin.

Takumi: Corrin.

Azura: Corrin.

Hinoka: Why?!

Xander: Our father did make a good point that Corrin is the chosen one so that should make him ruler of Nohr. He did slay him after all.

Corrin: I don't know what to say.

 _Derp Corrin who just caught up with her new family appear and approach to her original._

Derp Corrin: Mi hermano. You just got to believe. If you don't, believe in the me that believes in the you.

Corrin: Your right Derp Corrin.

Hinoka: You know what. I quit adding logic to all of this. I should just shut up and let these fools deal with their crap.

Azura: I think its for the best since the chaos never ends.

Corrin: I, King Corrin, shall bring peace prosperity to the entire kingdom and fix the wrong doings of the previous king.

 _Everyone cheered for Corrin's new role before the whole place exploded for some dumb reason. The kingdom of Nohr and the kingdom of Hoshido both blew up at the same time into ruins and shambles. How is there a bomb in this world when they never invented them?_

 _Yeah, I'm ending the story like this and I have no idea why. It doesn't make sense, but I think someone suggested this idea to me. Who could be responsible for all of this?_

Waluigi: Waluigi number 1!

...

 **Attain Support Level S**

 **...**

Thank you all so much for supporting me on the way of making this. I hope you really enjoyed this story. It was very weird to make.


End file.
